She comes from one of my favorite novels, The Thirteenth Tale, by Diane Setterfield (in the book, the character's name is Adeline).

That was the first time I came across the name. I loved the sound of it, and planned one day I would name my daughter Adelina.


A few years later, I was driving down the highway one day listening to a random playlist on Spotify, and this delicious song played. There it was again. I thought fondly of my future daughter, though I was haunted by recent health issues that could mean she may never exist.


As I contemplated this future girl--all the compassion I would have for her, the fierce love I would show her, the way I would fight for her and never give up on her--I sort of laughed to myself thinking,

"Why wouldn't I love myself as much as I would love her?"

A simple thought, but at that moment, particularly unsure if little Adelina would ever come to be, I decided something. I would give myself the same compassion, grace, and ferocious loyalty I'd offered my unborn daughter.


I would be Adelina.

Ellie Adelina